No Excuses...Just Life

Wow it feels like ages since I've sat down to blog and in all actuality...it has been way too long!  I can't make excuses, but I can say that life happens.  Life lately has been overwhelmingly consuming.  It has been hard for me to juggle so many different things.  I've moved away from things that are filling for me and into a place of being drained continually.  Clearly this is not health and so I've been taking this week to reflect, pray, talk things out, pray, seek the Lord, and pray...

Prayer and time with the Lord have been so vitally important!  In taking this week to connect with the Lord, I've realized how distant I've been.  How I've substituted activities for God with relationship with God.  All of my activities for God have been wonderful, but when my relationship with God is a brief part of my life, something is clearly wrong!  For about a month and a half I've been crying out to God in the difficulties of my frustrations.  I've been so raw before him as I've earnestly sought him.  It has taken me until this week to hear him well.  I had to step away from everything that has entangled me and been pulling for my time.  I'd been hearing glimpses of what God was saying for weeks, but when I didn't stop and listen the voice became muted .  I knew what God would desire of me, but I was too busy to stop.

I stopped.

I heard his voice clearly-He wants me.  Just me, not all of my activities, but a relationship with him.  My priorities have been out of whack. I've been confusing the callings of my life.  My perspective has been realigned and I feel good-good with God.

It is not going to be easy, but I'm seeking to live my life right before the Lord.

So perhaps you are wondering...what does this have to do with your blog Kaitlin?  

Well I'm glad  you asked!  My priorities need to be organized properly!  In my time seeking out the Lord, He brought me back to a study I'd done last summer.  We read the book Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow which is all about growing to be more like the virtuous wife of Proverbs 31.  In the book she lays out the order of our priorities from a Biblical perspective.

Priority #1: God

 Priority #2: Husband

Priority #3:  Children (if you have them)

Priority #4: Home

 Priority #5: Yourself

 Priority #6: Outside the Home

 In revisiting this and remember the great impact that this part of the study had on my life last summer, I realized nothing is in its proper place-my priorities are all backwards!  Everything that I'm doing is a mess and it is because first things aren't being taken care of first!  So I'm doing some remodeling of my time and my schedule and I'm putting myself back into the equation.

For the past few months I haven't made myself a priority.  I've let everything else come first and so the only way I'm taking care of myself is going to sleep when I'm tired.  My creativity has been suppressed and I'm suffering because of it.  I've realized that being creative and creating is so filling to me.  Making my house a home, making food that is delicious, and making things for my family & friends makes me really, really happy!

So for the sake of myself and putting myself back into the rotation of priorities...I'm going to blog!  I love blogging and it brings me such joy!  Blogging is my accountability to do something creative and to express myself...so I'm back!